Window

Sitting on the windowsill do you ever wondered about the falling rain,
warm rays touching your face or about wandering clouds of the sky?
Do you thought over the whisper of wind or people walking in the street?
Do you ever watched the reflection in the window glass in front of you?
I always thought, and still do, that the eyes are the mirror of the soul.
Eyes can show everything about another person,
but also can show all about us.
It's just a matter of time and feeing...
Unfortunately, not everyone can see the simplest case, and that's sad.
Even if we stood in front of someone and showed him the finger,
what lies before him, he still will not notice it.
Many things do not see in everyday life.
Passing down the street, talking with friends,
sitting on a park bench and looking at other we don't see this things.
We are a small dot in the big world, like a drop in the ocean ...
But we're still here and that is what counts.

New chapter

I sit, I close my eyes, I feel a warm breeze on my face, rays of the sun...
I hear music and wonder how it will be for a year.
Will I have a moment to just sit back and enjoy the first rays of the summer?
Will could I sit back and feel calm and emptiness which fills me ...
enormity of the world ... like now?
Or maybe I will not no longer here. Darkness dream come true from
my subconscious and the disease finally won.
I do not know, parents do not know, the doctors also...
And I am just sitting here and stare at the clouds which leaving the sky
and I am waiting for new rays of the sun... new life.

dream ...

Today I had a dream. I dreamed that I leave the room to the lobby, in a big, beautiful home.

This passage was very long. I wanted to go to the other end, but as I walked,

it felt that I still stand in the same place.You had once a dream, where you run down the hall, and he extended as soon as you tried to run fast?
It's something similar.

I felt so small and helpless ... hopeless.

Sometimes our desire is so great how long is this corridor, and we can not satisfy the expectations,

because there is always something we bother to go to the other side.

We stand in the splace ...

...

Do any of you believe in destiny?
The life that we are written, the fate that awaits us?
'Everything will work out.' - some people say. 'Do not worry, no one knows what awaits him.' - others are saying. And I think myself that none of them have no idea what is really controlling our lives.
Do any of you have your life goal? 'Be happy' - but what does it give you happiness? Have a family, good works, a German Shepherd and a house in Hawaii ...
No, this is not what I mean.
Do you know what you carried in your life?
What gives you strength for the next day?
If you have something like this, you have to give thanks to someone up there ... because even I start to lose my faith and hope, after these walks in the emotional desert ...

First page...

Do you ever think about ... life?
Do you ever want to see world through the eyes of someone else?
Now, when I sit on my window sill, on the top 6th floor, and watch an old, gloomy and sad city, with some colorful lights in the background, I wonder what really makes sense for me ...
Life ... family, friends, love? None of these things does not really exist ... it is false to some degree. It's sad how lonely you can feel surrounded by people who are around you...

don't you think?

Someone on one day, told me:

'Life is brutal, full of pitfalls and sometimes gives you a kick in the ass.'

And I say now: Not sometimes but every day...